How to Be the Best Version of Yourself after a Break-Up

Have you ever experienced a period of grief that makes you feel so bad and so belittled; that you don’t even have trust in yourself anymore? If so, you’re definitely a recruit in the school of thought that believes some emotions can be overly tough and stubborn to deal with.

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The thoughts in your mind can literally turn your life upside-down and straight into a living hell! While it may vary from one person to the other, this is in every way similar to what happens after a breakup or divorce. It can be very easy to feel powerless if not go into a state of shock.

But how exactly do you get back on your feet? How do you overcome the feelings of betrayal, mistrust, anger, and sadness after a mutual or nasty break? Don’t forget that you might still love the person, and the urge to get back with your significant other might not go away sooner than you’d wish.

Thankfully, these tips can help you work on YOU – and turn you into the best version of yourself after calling it quits with your significant other.

Why Do Breakups Hurt So Much?

From jealousy to regrets, and feelings sadness, anger, or betrayal, the reasons why a breakup can hurt so much are more than anyone can imagine. It's hard to decide whether or not your relationship is worth holding on to.

Breakups also hurt mentally because you keep getting reminded of the person all the time, especially if when the special moments and unique experiences you shared together come clouding your mind. It's naturally easy to want to hold on to those memories and and revisit feelings from the good times you had with your ex simply coz that's how the human mind is wired!

But you want to get out of this misery, right? Well, it all starts with the will to accept and the urge to move on! And whether you want to get back together or you simply want to feel better, you must first be willing to deal with the hurtful feelings. This takes going back to the drawing board to find out what caused the breakup or divorce in the first place.

Common Reasons for Breakups

A breakup in a relationship can come from the most obvious things – to the least expectable situations. While infidelity is often to blame, money problems and compatibility issues cannot be overlooked either. Here are some common reasons for break-ups; the reasons might differ from case to case.

1. Tired Of the Relationship

The relationship has been going in circles; with barely any progress since the two o you met. Perhaps one of the partners is to blame or you were just not the perfect match for each other. One or both of the partners could get tired enough to consider moving on, and this is quite healthy.

2. Not Getting Enough Attention

Men; are you giving your woman enough attention? If someone feels sidelined or just a “by-the-way'' in a relationship, their chances of calling it quits can be way above what would be considered average. Maybe he or she is tired of giving all of his or her energy to you, and now he or she wants to focus on themselves, their career, personal aspirations, and overall wellbeing.

3. Unmet Needs and Expectations

Perhaps your partner is a beast in bed, but you’re almost always not in the mood. Maybe she expects a new car each year, or you need X babies by the time you’re forty. Whichever the case, unmet needs and a difference of expectations are among the most common reasons many couples end up parting ways.

4. Lost Attraction

This is often a huge pain in the back. He or she might have lost interest in you and your feelings, so they think it’s best to move on and find someone new. Almost half the time, lost attraction is also linked to infidelity or cheating from either party in the relationship.

5. Differences in Priority and Opinion

Sometimes your differences with your partner could be simply too much. Sometimes it’s not that he/she isn’t right for you, it’s just that you’re just not ready to settle down. There might be issues that you’re not comfortable dealing with. Maybe you want to concentrate on your career before tying the knot.

6. I Just Need A Break!

You might just need a break from the relationship. Having children and your careers can be a lot of stress, for instance, and it’s not easy to sustain a relationship when you’re not feeling well either physically or mentally. The significant other might ask for a break for just about any reason they find fit.

How to Get Over Your Breakup

When the wounds are fresh and raw, it’s hard to think of a way out. But luckily, there are ways to get over a breakup. It takes working on yourself with as much energy as you can find.

The following tips might help you cope with the overwhelming feelings and hopelessness after breaking up with your better half.

1. Seek Help from Friends and Family

Friends and family can be a huge help and a genuine shoulder to lean on when you’re going through tough times. Especially when you’re feeling lonely, the best way to start working through the pain is to seek some genuine support and understanding from your close circle.

2. Say Goodbye to the World of Social Media

Social media can be a very toxic and numbing space for many. This is especially the case if you’re still in the process of healing. Flipping through pictures of your ex and talking about the breakup over and over again can hurt more than you think.

3. Be Active and Get Some Exercise

Getting active is a great way to get out of bed, shake off the feeling of numbness and take your mind off things. Workout can be a great distraction, and it can help you be more positive. It also helps you regain self-esteem and strength,so you can realize you can get through this too.

4. Try to Forgive Yourself and Others

Breaking up is not something that’s easy to handle and deal with. To get over it, and live a happier life, it’s important to try to forgive yourself and others and let go of what happened in the past.

5. Sleep More and Eat Better

It’s important to feel well-rested and fed because your body requires adequate rest and nutrition to function optimally. Keeping yourself well-fed and rested will help you to make up for the amount of time you missed during the week, and give you the energy to do more of what you love to do and feel fulfilled.

6. Be Kind to Yourself: Avoid Self-Blame

Whenever you’re blaming yourself for what happened and what might have happened in the future, your mind is telling you that you’re worthless and broken. It’s important to accept what has happened and not judge yourself too harshly. If this is something you have done before, try and avoid doing so in the future. Self-blame will only make things worse for you and hinder your self-healing progress.

7. Keep Boundaries with Your Ex

While you might not want to delete your Instagram account, it’s good to set boundaries and set rules for yourself with your ex. Do not text him/her when you are mad or when you've had a drink. Keep it cool and professional.

8. Accept and Move On

It might take a while before you truly feel happy again. But if you allow yourself to accept what happened, and allow yourself to move on, you’ll be back on your feet in no time.

Conclusion

No one is perfect, and you’re bound to make mistakes sometimes. But if you want to move on and live a better life, you have to accept this and stop blaming yourself for your mistakes. If it was a mistake, so what? You learned a valuable lesson and now you can work to prevent it from happening again.

Finding the right ways to deal with your emotions is the best way to move forward and feel better. It’s not easy, and it’s never going to be. But if you try to make things better, you’ll feel better.